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During the onset of COVID 19, I decided to scan a pile of old love letters between my parents to preserve them digitally. When I unfolded the letters to scan, I read all of them—about a hundred letters. Twenty-three years after Mom’s death and thirty-five years after Dad’s, I still mourned for them. The love that emanated from the letters was overwhelming. Every letter made me cry. That is when I decided I had to tell their story.
And that was the beginning of an exhausting, mentally challenging and emotionally draining effort that has yet to end.
Well, I wasn’t a writer. Not in the creative sense. Many people dream of writing a book, but I was never one of them. But I decided I could give it a go.
The first challenge was to put the letters in chronological order. Some letters were dated, but not all. I had to read between the lines to get the timeline. I did a spreadsheet to log the letters by date and by author and summarized a blurb of the contents of each letter. I even color-coded the spreadsheet cells—blue for Dad and pink for Mom—so I could easily identify them. All of that organizing was hard enough, and I hadn’t even written the first page!
I was naïve. At first, I thought it would be simple to hire a ghostwriter, tell them what I wanted to say and let them write it for me. DISASTER!!! That relationship ended swiftly and taught me that there is no one else in this world that can write this book. Little did I know then it would be more difficult than I ever imagined.
I took online courses on writing novels, memoirs and creative writing. Spent long hours learning while etching out a plan and outline. I learned how to write engaging dialects, arc the story, and keep the reader engaged at the end of each chapter. I learned about different styles of writing. About having a protagonist and antagonist and what to do and what NEVER to do.
Once I had my outline (which would end up changing several times), I started writing chapter one. I was already three months into this project before I wrote the first sentence. Eventually, chapter one emerged. My devoted and supportive husband helped edit and critique it with every re-write. Chapter1 is critical to grab an audience’s attention, and we gave it extra thought and contemplation. I finally thought chapter 1 was in good enough shape to go on to Chapter 2. But it wasn’t. Three and a half years later chapter one is still evolving, but now along with 36 other chapters. I keep pushing on.
“You’ll never get a publisher,” a well-intentioned friend told me when I thought I was almost finished with my manuscript. And she had no idea what my book was about, let alone having read it. “Only Stephen King and Nicholas Sparks get published these days.” Well, this person didn’t mean to insult me. She stated what she thought was true. And perhaps many other friends thought the same thing but were too polite to say so.
Of course, my well-meaning friend discouraged me. She had self-published many times, and she was pushing me to do so. Self-publishing is not exactly the easy way out. It does take work and financial resources to do it well. But anyone can self-publish. Anyone. Not to belittle the millions that have done so because I might be one of them. But there is something alluring about having a recognized publishing house—and a good agent—take on your work. It’s rare for debut authors. I know it. But I have another friend who is a debut author who, after many years of perseverance, got a traditional publishing deal! She had what it takes: tenacity, confidence and a good story. I think I have that too.
I know that self-publishing is a faster and easier way to go. And it is always available as my last resort. But now that I am more than knee-deep in this process of going the traditional route, I shall push on.
In my book, UNSPOKEN, I talk about Japanese culture and how Japanese people never give up. “Fall down seven, get up eight” is the ancient adage. My Japanese mom was like that. And I think that stubbornness and resilience passed to me.
But then there is the saying, “You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them.” But it’s not time to fold—yet.
That was quick! My first literary rejection came on June 24, 2022, exactly two days after I submitted my query to the agent. Because the rejection was so swift, it was painless. I knew the agent hadn’t read my work and wasn’t rejecting my writing—my genre wasn’t a match for her.
The journey of every debut author comes with the challenge of rejection. I’ve poured my heart, soul, and endless hours into this book, and shed many tears along the way. Tears not from rejection, but from the emotional strain I went through while writing my story.
Traditional publishers do not accept unsolicited manuscripts. The way to get to a publisher is through a reputable agent. And the way to get a reputable agent is to query them to represent you.
This querying process was a whole new learning curve for me. It's as difficult and time-consuming as writing my book, although not as emotionally draining. To make matters even tougher, every agent has a particular way they want to be queried. Some agents have a questionnaire, some go through an online query platform, and every agent favors certain genres. The trick is to rummage through the thousands of literary agents out there to find one who: 1)is taking new clients, 2) accepts debut authors, and 3) is seeking a manuscript in my particular genre, which is literary romance.
I am still in the stage of “wait-to-be-rejected by agents.” Many agents tell you to expect to wait several months before you hear from them, if at all.
All authors are experienced with rejection. I take comfort in knowing that many talented and now famous authors have been rejected.
J. K. Rowling was rejected twelve times for her first Harry Potter manuscript. I love her quote, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all--in which case, you fail by default.”
Stephen King’s “Carrie” was rejected thirty times before being picked up by Doubleday.
Dr. Seuss’ "And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street" was rejected twenty-seven times. He was ready to burn his manuscript when he ran into an acquaintance who was an editor of children’s books and asked to read the manuscript. The rest is history. Later, Seuss would say of the fortuitous meeting, "If I'd been going down the other side of Madison Avenue, I'd be in the dry-cleaning business today."
There are many other similar stories. Even literary geniuses such as J. R. R. Tolkien and John Steinbeck have suffered the sting of rejections.
I know I will get more rejections. I’m braced and ready. There are over 1,000 literary agents in the U.S. In the meantime my novel is in the constant state of re-writing, making it better each time.
I’m not ready for the dry cleaning business.
My top-notch editor finally sent my script back with her suggestions and observations. Thirteen single-spaced pages of comments. Phew!
She loves my story and says I write beautifully, which makes me smile! But that doesn’t change the fact that I need to essentially double my word count if I want my book to attract a major agent or traditional publisher. Now why didn't all the coaches, teachers and other editors tell me that a long time ago? I am now over two years since I started journey.
Undaunted, I started to re-work my manuscript to develop more engaging scenes and inspiring content. I need to add roughly 40,000 words. I’m asking myself, will I be able to write 1,000 words a day, six days a week? Probably not, given my current load of activities. But that’s a goal I’m shooting for—for now.
Meanwhile, I’d like to share with you some good advice that I follow from famous authors:
“I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.” Harper Lee
I have a pretty thick hide from my business career, so I have this checked off.
“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” W. Somerset Maugham
I think the rules are “write, re-write, and re-write again.”
“Write drunk, edit sober.” Ernest Hemingway
I especially like this one, gives me more time to write!
"If writing seems hard, it’s because it is hard. It’s one of the hardest things people do.” William Zinsser
Yes it’s hard, but I’m enjoying my journey and feeling more creative by the day. If nothing else, learning this new skill is keeping my brain active. I’m not particularly in a hurry, but I would like to get this published before I die—God willing!